Fallton Havenstonne

It’s difficult to function on little sleep, yet it is common for many people–even the norm for them. When I’m functioning on little sleep, I need plenty (and I mean plenty) of coffee to keep me going throughout the day. It’s as if my faculties are lagging while I’m getting things done on autopilot. It takes practice.

Lack of sleep can be caused by bad habits such as staying up late to watch TV or toying around on the phone. Or it can be the fact that someone just has a hard time falling asleep even though they’re trying to sleep early.

It’s said that we need something like 8 hours per day to get the proper amount of rest. Easier said than done, of course, unless someone sticks to schedule that allots them the 8 hours of sleep they need.

In my novel Rogue Experiment, a character said something like they didn’t want to sleep because there was so much to do in the day. I used to tell myself at night to turn everything off at night (even if I was working) and go to bed. How rarely did I do this, even though I knew I should. But I eventually decided to get things done early in the day instead of pushing my goals into the evening.

Overtime, I found myself not needing to stay up, since the work was already done.

Sometimes I’ll stay up late to finish up a chapter or a couple of pages before going to sleep. But it’s hard to turn the creative engine off when I’m on a roll. I’ll keep going until I run out of steam or burn out.

It’ll be a battle to get up the next morning. Every fiber of my body resists as it begs for more sleep. But I get up anyway because I have to, and then I brood, regretting the late night work before.

I’ve recently changed my schedule to write early in the morning or the afternoon. At night, I still want to write late into the morning, but because of my new schedule, I don’t. I’m left feeling restless, even disappointed that my ideas won’t manifest themselves onto the page.

In a previous post, I had written about how each person has an optimal hour to write/create. It’s that time when they are most productive, when the gears of their mind are spinning rapidly. It can churn out brilliancies, masterpieces even.

My optimal hour has been late at night–somewhere around 10 or 11 o’clock at night. This has been the case for many years–ever since I was in college. But I couldn’t keep it up forever. Times have changed, and so has my routine.

Living in the city can be an exciting and stimulating experience. One feels like they’re inside of a microcosm of bustling activity, where there is so much to see and do and where there is always something going on. One can step out from their rental and be within walking distance to restaurants and stores that are right around the block.

The architecture of the city has a huge impact on life there. Although this is dependent upon which city one lives in (i.e. a small or big city, or an American city or European city, etc.), the buildings impress upon a person the scope and history of their surroundings.

If most of the buildings are new and modern, the sense of space will be towering, geometrical and sleek. But in a cityscape with mostly older buildings, one will feel like they’re looking into the past with every stone or brick that was laid.

Unlike a suburban environment where one has to drive to get anywhere, the city connects people quickly through public transportation and because everything is so close. It makes getting from point A to point B less of a hassle compared to sitting in a car during traffic.

But living in the city has its cons. Space (such as apartments, condos, etc.) is limited, as well as land. If one doesn’t like crowded spaces–the city is probably not the best place for them. It has light pollution, plenty of noise, and depending on the city, a stench that might be unbearable.

City life offers plenty of things to experience and see. Transportation is efficient, and even traveling by foot or on bike gives one a sense of immediacy to the environment. But when deciding to live in a city, one must weigh the facts against the kind of environment they want to live in.

After a long day, one just feels like crashing on the bed or the couch and tuning everything out. It’s not even worth the effort to clean or organize or cook or do any chores. All that matters is to get some rest (hopefully a lot) and shut out all the noise.

So what is a long day?

It’s a day that has drawn out longer than it should. It could’ve been caused by a stressful situation at work, or the anxiety of waiting that causes unbearable tension (i.e. like doing a presentation in front of a 100 people).

It could be defined as a day where a series of things have happened under time pressure. For example, if one were running ten different errands in an hour, or if one had car problems and then had to race to their job to complete a ton of work to meet a deadline.

But during the course of a long day, cheerful or happier moments can be sprinkled in between the stressful ones. Just as traffic might ruin one’s day and make them late to work, the ride home might be a breeze, or they might hear good news about something in their life.

A long day isn’t bad in itself. It just takes a lot out of a person, and a good remedy for it is to get some rest–even some laughter.

When I play a game of chess, it involves so many decisions in terms of positional strategy, tactics and thinking about what the opponent is up to. Sometimes I just freeze, and it feels like any move I make will worsen my position or just lead to my being checkmated. That’s how it feels when indecision strikes me. I can’t move. I’m stuck.

Indecision is one of those things that is debilitating and frustrating. It comes out of nowhere, and it feels paralyzing when it happens. It can happen for a wide range of situations, such as what attire to wear, what to eat at a restaurant, what career or major to pursue, buying a home or deciding on a place to rent, etc.

We run decisions through a network of ready-made systems and values. The frustrating part is when none of the systems or values can resolve the problem at hand. When it’s overwhelming, we have to step away from the dilemma, hoping that the solution will come to us somehow (or out of thin air).

Sometimes this works when we realize we just needed more time to think about it. Other times, we need to talk it through with someone–get another perspective–another set of systems and values to relay it through.

We might even pray about it, waiting for the answer to come when we’re not expecting it. Or we might decide to let our gut-instinct settle the matter. Regardless of what the solution is, indecision is a paralyzing, and we don’t want it weighing us down.

It can affect all areas of our life. Not only practical matters, but even our creative choices.

In my case, I struggle with things such as the title, how long a story should be, what the story arcs should be, how to conclude the story, and what the series of events should be, etc. Sometimes the answers are very obvious and don’t take long to figure out. At other times, they seem almost impossible to resolve.

When this happens, I take breaks and walk outside to resolve indecisiveness. I find that when I’m working on a problem head-on, I’m fixated on one method or a set of ineffective methods to find the solution. It’s kind of like trying to figure something out with brute force, when what you need is wit, or as that saying goes, thinking outside the box.

I find a change of scenery helps to alleviate the stress and worry of the indecision. Fresh air often calms the mood, and helps us to analyze the problem without the pressure that’s associated with it. The answer can seem almost obvious afterward, like when we say “why didn’t I think of that?” or “of course!”

And if that doesn’t help, I find that talking about it with someone gives us insights we didn’t have to begin with. It’s as our problem-solving systems and judgment-values weren’t sufficient to solve the problem to begin with. It needed some growing, some additions, refinements, and fine-tuning to improve and enhance our decision-making ability.

And then everything is well and fine until the next indecision . . . .