Category: Reflections

Every five years, we end up in different places in our lives whether that’s economically, socially, geographically, professionally . . . even in terms of our goals (i.e. whether we accomplished them, or the ones we set for ourselves).

Of course, a lot can happen in a year or two, even three, but in five years, it’s as if we lived a different life, had a distinct mindset and outlook that was unique to us then. Five years ago, I was in a completely different place in terms of my outlook and focus compared to where I am now.

I would say as time progressed, I became more focused on the practical side of life, focusing on daily routines, organization, chores, etc., whereas before, I was more focused on reading literature, learning about the arts, creating art, etc. And if I were to go back another five years from that point in time, I was even more focused and immersed in the arts, learning from books and reading and discovering different authors.

As I go back every five years in the reservoir of my memories, it all seems like a lifetime ago, although it’s not. In the span of each five year interval, so much has happened, and there seemed to be all the time in the world in each and every moment, but when we look back on it from the present, it all happened so fast, kind of like a distant and fading dream.

When you know you have something but you can’t find it, it can be a perplexing and confounding experience. As you look under every possible rock (metaphorically speaking, of course), and you still can’t find it, you try to think back to when you last saw it, where you might’ve put it.

I had this experience recently with a tool I was trying to find. I clearly remembered holding it in my hand and putting it away inside of a bin. But when it came time to get it, it wasn’t where I thought I had put it. It was like it got up and walked away on its own like it was playing hide and seek.

I searched everywhere for it, going through bins and drawers and whatnot, and no matter where I looked, it wasn’t there. Then a thought dawned on me: had I thrown it away? Did I accidentally throw it in the garbage bin, thinking at the time that I wouldn’t ever need it? Besides, what other explanation was there? I didn’t let any one borrow it. I didn’t take it anywhere. And it couldn’t have just walked off on its own.

After an exhausting search that led me no closer to finding it, I decided to replace the tool and ended up buying a new one. I wonder if it will turn up one day when I’m not even trying to find it. It might turn up as I’m casually rummaging through boxes and bins as I’m finding something else. It’s happened before, or maybe, just maybe, it was really good at playing hide and seek.

When I keep myself busy, I know I’m being productive, and when I’m completing tasks on a to-do lists, whether those are chores or fixing things or organizing my space, there’s a sense of accomplishment that comes from knowing that I’m being productive and utilizing my time wisely.

Of course, there are limits to how much we can stay busy, because staying too busy can lead to burn out, exhaustion, and a sense of restlessness. Time needs to be set aside for rest, relaxation, and recreational activities, such as exercise, sports, and or hobbies. But even those have their limits as well, since too much rest, relaxation, etc., can lead to a general sense of boredom, lethargy, and a feeling that time is passing by without making the best use of it.

Staying busy is one of those things whose meaning varies depending on how you look at it. Does it mean a day filled with long hours of work, a schedule full of activities and a long list of to-do items, or does it mean keeping the mind and body busy, of not letting each day pass by without completing something that is important and fulfilling?

There is something to be said of each of these, since work can keep our minds active, give us a sense of purpose, and completing activities or to-do items can keep us on track of what we need to do so that we’re not forgetful about things. But when we’re pursuing something we’re passionate about, it’s a different kind of busy, since it doesn’t seem like something that’s busying us, but that by pursuing it, we are staying busy.

When we select goals, we are careful to not choose ones that are beyond our means and impractical, since such goals can discourage us overtime. Even though we want the rewards that come with surpassing expectations, of achieving greatness, it’s not as simple and straightforward as we would expect. In fact, after we realize how challenging and overwhelming some goals can be, not to mention how much more work is required of us than what we initially expected, we might begin to second guess ourselves, perhaps even set those goals aside.

Selecting goals is one of those things where they have to be tailored to what we’re passionate about, and reevaluated from time to time so that we’re not burned out or prone to giving up in the process of achieving them. It’s easy to capriciously select goals that seem achievable and extraordinary, but in actuality, putting the work and time into them is an entirely different story. We might begin to lose interest and motivation after awhile, or something else might come along that will draw our interest away. Or it could be the fact that we still have a lot to learn, or we need to develop a routine and become disciplined before we can even achieve those goals.

In addition to all of this, we have to pursue them for the right reasons. Are we pursuing the goals to impress others, to achieve fame, or are we pursuing them because they’re rooted in what we’re passionate about, in where our interests, creativity, and intellect lie?

There are times when I’ve asked myself: “What have I accomplished?”

It’s a question whose meaning and answer depends on what a person defines as an accomplishment, because for one person, writing a book is an accomplishment, but to another, it’s not enough (meaning, they should’ve written two).

But two isn’t for everyone. It could take a writer years to write a novel, or even a decade. Who knows how much work and time they’ve put into it, how many drafts they’ve written, how many roadblocks they’ve stumbled upon in the writing process. They don’t want to rush publishing a story that they’re not happy with, a story that still needs work. To them, finishing that first draft is an accomplishment in and of itself.

In a way, our answer to that question is more telling about ourselves than what we’ve actually accomplished. If we’re extremely hard on ourselves, or hold exceedingly high expectations, then whatever we’ve accomplished might never be enough. But if we know how hard something was to achieve, not to mention the successes we made along the way, then at least one thing we’ve completed from start to finish is surely enough, surely worthy of an accomplishment.

Time can go by so fast when we’re trying to get a lot of things done, especially when we’re on a time crunch. It’s like every minute we think that has past was actually five minutes in real time. And when time is up, it’s like that last hour or two was a blur–fractions of moments and events that, when added up, only come out to a few minutes.

When I say to myself, “Where did the time go?” it’s usually toward the end of the day. At the end of the day, we can rest, reflect on what transpired from morning till evening. It all seems episodic, like clips from a movie trailer in which we remember the highlights, but don’t actually remember being at those specific scenes. The time flew by so fast that we thought we had blinked and missed something, but the reality is that our experience of time is more like a daydream than a detailed account on a ledger or in a book.

Each day, time marches forward, never backwards. We can’t rewind it and correct our mistakes, nor can we rewind it to analyze how we experienced the past. All we have are memories of it, but even they are just interpretations based on our mode of perception at each and every moment.

That saying, “Where did the time go?” is paradoxical, since we know where it went: it goes forward–forward in the sense of transitioning from the present to the future. But what we mean when we ask ourselves that is how did we lose track of time, why did we spend so much of it trying to get things done, trying to do everything at once, when all we wanted was a break?

Thursday is one of those odd days of the week where it’s not quite in the middle, nor at the end, but somewhere in-between. On Friday, everybody’s excited for the weekend, excited that they get two days off and can sleep in, stay up late, hang out with friends without worrying about tomorrow.

But Thursday is one of those days where one can’t do any of those things, since there’s still one day of work left. It’s a day that seems like every other day, but it’s not. People know the weekend is coming, that the work week is almost over, so it’s like they’re prepping for it mentally, anticipating the last day of work before the weekend.

And knowing that, they try to wrap things up at work, preorder movie tickets, stock up on groceries, or reserve tables at a restaurant for a get-together. They might even work on getting all of the chores done so that they don’t have to do them over the weekend. It’s like a day that calls for us to finish what we’ve started that week, as well as to make arrangements for social gatherings. In fact, Thursday might be one of the busiest days of the week.

In a way, we’re all treasure hunters. Aside from the archetypical treasure hunter who searches for gold in a sunken ship at the bottom of the ocean or in some long forgotten cave, the modern treasure hunter is searching for items of practical use, such as a good deal on a car or a home, or those rare collectibles at the best and most reasonable price.

It could be conjectured that it’s inherent in our nature to be treasure hunters. Ever since the dawn of humankind, humans have been searching for resources, raw materials, and knowledge to better and advance life. The intellectual treasure hunter is one who seeks out the secrets of nature, whether that’s in physics, chemistry, or biology. Those that search for raw material, such as gold, zinc, silver, etc., excavate mines, hollow out craters on the earth’s surface, or explore planets or rocks, such as the moon, in search of unknown material. And in our modern age, those that are on the hunt for resources, which can span the gamut from collectibles to supplies and food, are in search of the best products/brands at the best prices.

Indeed, one can search for hours or days to fill up their treasure chest given the examples above. It harkens back to this instinctive need that has existed centuries and millenniums ago, where survival was dependent on it. It’s what drives us to explore, to search for hours and days, to persist despite the obstacles in order to acquire the treasure we’ve dreamed of. It could be a car, a house, a boat, or something as small as a coin, a comic, a rare book, an autographed item, memorabilia, etc. Treasure hunters are always on the prowl, and will be for centuries to come.

It’s a strange phenomenon to drop something on the ground–especially if the ground is of the same likeness as the object we dropped. Because of this, what should’ve been found in five seconds ends up taking five or ten minutes. In the worse case scenario, we end up not finding it at all.

When we first drop an item, such as a coin, we look directly below us–down near our feet. Then we expand the radius of our search, inferring that it could’ve rolled to our left, or maybe to our right. It ends up taking so much time that we come to the conclusion that it’s not even worth it, but because we had already started, we don’t want to give up that easily. And once we do find it, we end up surprised that we found it all, since it was camouflaged by the ground as if it was trying to hide from us.

But that object could’ve been anything: a bottle cap, a piece of jewelry, a contact lens, a paper clip, a key, the list goes on. It’s like our brains–our eyes–weren’t made to efficiently search for dropped items. It takes a great deal of effort to find them, which can include kneeling down and sweeping our hands over the floor, turning on multiple lights, walking in circles in the same area, sweeping that area with a broom, etc.

When we do find the item, it’s like we’ve solved a complex math problem or aced a test. There’s a huge sense of relief that immediately fills us, changes our mood from one of panic and anxiety to optimism and hopefulness.

It’s a curious thing to see how we are flexible on some things, but unwavering on others. For example, we’re flexible when it comes to things that we don’t regard with a high degree of importance. For some, that could be choosing what to eat for dinner or what movie to watch on a Friday night, but for others, these things could be nonnegotiable. In their minds, they won’t waver when it comes to the alternatives or suggestions that someone else might offer.

To a certain degree, we’re like this in some area or other. Maybe it is in regards to how food should be prepared and cooked, what makes a good movie or book, our views about life, or about the way things should be done in our line of work. In a way, being unwavering can be a positive, since it’s indicative that we believe in our values and will stay true to our principles.

But being flexible is a part of life too, since it’s obvious that not everyone shares our ideas, agrees with them, not to mention that they might have different ideas of how something ought to be done. The middle ground is in knowing when to be flexible (and how flexible) in regard to change or what’s unfamiliar, and knowing when to be unwavering with our ideas and principles. I don’t think there’s an easy answer to this, but one thing I’ve learned over the years is that it’s always good to listen and hear what the other person has to say before making an unwavering conclusion.