Category: Reflections

Burnout happens when we don’t stop to rest. It’s that feeling when our mind and body shuts down after an exhausting day of work. It can happen to anyone in any profession, and when the burnout is bad, it makes us want to quit–plain and simple.

Burnout is mental fatigue–a drain on the emotional and the physical. It wears us down little by little until we’re broken. It starts off slow–gnawing away at our psyche: why am I doing this? Why does this matter? When the burnout reaches a pinnacle, we might say: I can’t stand it anymore. Why am I here?

It has happened to me more than once while I was writing. After pushing through a story for countless days, the burnout set in, and it was no longer fun to write. Writing felt more like a chore than something I wanted to pursue. Day by day, I lost motivation, and soon, I no longer looked forward to writing.

But burnouts are temporary. They’re a sign that we need a break, that we need to refuel.

Thoughts run through my mind such as: get up and go for a walk. Relax for a day or two and then return to the project. Don’t force yourself to finish fast, but take your time with it–let it be fun.

There’s no point in fighting burnout because it’ll eventually take over. The mind and body can only take so much. Overworking destroys us. It saps the joy from creative work.

Burnout is like an engine that’s overheating. Once it overheats, it can’t operate for awhile. It needs time to cool off. That’s what burnout does to us. We have to know our limits and give ourselves a breather.

Defeat can wear us down, even make us quit. But defeat can make us stronger, and build us up again.

When there are winners and losers, success and defeat are part of the game. No one wants to be defeated, but after a defeat, we must ask ourselves questions. How were we defeated? Were did things go wrong?

Sometimes we might get defeated because of bad luck. Sometimes we might get defeated because of one mistake. Even when we did everything right . . . how rough is that?

But don’t let defeat have the last word. Defeat is just a moment in time, an outcome that lasts just for a bit. There will be always be defeat, but there will be days of success as well.

No wants to be defeated, yet someone has to accept it. In the battle between success and defeat, the tide can always shift.

A rainy day is like a day that’s too hot. We stay in doors and get things done until the rain settles.

On rainy days, we can catch up on reading or shows and movies we missed or chores. It’s also good time to reflect or create and write.

On rainy days, the gray stormy weather is alive. moving across the sky like a raging river. It’s fascinating to look at, including the splashes, the puddles, and the rain as it slants down onto the grass or pavement.

When driving on rainy days, tires splashes water on the curbs, and raindrops drum against the vehicle like a free car wash. And when the wipers can’t keep up, we must drive like we’re riding on neutral, praying that everyone else slows down too.

And on rainy days, the grass and trees and the earth are replenished despite the inconveniences it might cause to our day. And then when the rain settles, everything is good again.

All of us at one point has been running on empty. It’s that feeling of not having an ounce of energy left when there’s so much to do. It’s that point of exhaustion and fatigue that we battle against in order to press forward and finish our goals.

I’m not referring to exercise when we want to rest, but instead, we push ourselves to keep working. Even though running on empty can be associated with physical exhaustion, it’s moreover a circumstance, such as a job or a series of tasks, which we must complete when we have no energy left.

This can be caused when we haven’t eaten and drank, sleep deprivation, or when we’ve overworked. Our mind and body feel depleted, and since we’re still functioning, it’s as if we’re running on empty.

Empty of what, exactly?

Food, sleep, rest, even downtime. And what are the consequences of running on empty? Poor work performance, poor decision making, a negative or grouchy attitude. It affects our mood tremendously, and it’s unfair to us and the people around us.

It’s important that we refuel our bodies and recharge after an exhausting day. We need to take care of ourselves–our mental and physical health, so that we don’t run on empty.

Solving puzzles can be a rewarding and stimulating experience, or it can be frustrating and stressful. Whether one is solving a jigsaw puzzle, a word puzzle, a math puzzle (i.e. sudoku) or a chess puzzle, they challenge us to think critically and analytically. When we succeed, it gives us confidence and a feeling of accomplishment. But when we get stuck or get a puzzle wrong, we might feel less intelligent because of our mistake(s), or sullen about it.

Despite this, we must keep trying and learn from our mistakes. For example, in chess, there are computer engines that analyze games including blunders and great moves. One wrong move can turn the table, as well as a great one. It could be the case that the opponent played better moves throughout the game, and the only way to win is to improve overall.

I use the analogy of chess because each position is like a tactical or positional puzzle. But each kind of puzzle has its own reward.

When we solve a puzzle, the feeling we might get is that the time and effort paid off, or a sense of relief.

In a jigsaw puzzle, for example, we can make a lot of mistakes, fitting the wrong pieces together, but it has no bearing on the result. In a game like sudoko, however, we can only make so many mistakes (or we’re racing against time) until we lose. In that case, there’s a lot of pressure to playing almost perfectly.

I think a puzzle is fun when I’m trying to play my best despite the mistakes I make. In fact, making mistakes/errors are part of the game, part of the learning process. In the end, we’re trying our best to succeed, but if we fail, we have to pick ourselves back up and try again.

It’s difficult to function on little sleep, yet it is common for many people–even the norm for them. When I’m functioning on little sleep, I need plenty (and I mean plenty) of coffee to keep me going throughout the day. It’s as if my faculties are lagging while I’m getting things done on autopilot. It takes practice.

Lack of sleep can be caused by bad habits such as staying up late to watch TV or toying around on the phone. Or it can be the fact that someone just has a hard time falling asleep even though they’re trying to sleep early.

It’s said that we need something like 8 hours per day to get the proper amount of rest. Easier said than done, of course, unless someone sticks to schedule that allots them the 8 hours of sleep they need.

In my novel Rogue Experiment, a character said something like they didn’t want to sleep because there was so much to do in the day. I used to tell myself at night to turn everything off at night (even if I was working) and go to bed. How rarely did I do this, even though I knew I should. But I eventually decided to get things done early in the day instead of pushing my goals into the evening.

Overtime, I found myself not needing to stay up, since the work was already done.

Sometimes I’ll stay up late to finish up a chapter or a couple of pages before going to sleep. But it’s hard to turn the creative engine off when I’m on a roll. I’ll keep going until I run out of steam or burn out.

It’ll be a battle to get up the next morning. Every fiber of my body resists as it begs for more sleep. But I get up anyway because I have to, and then I brood, regretting the late night work before.

I’ve recently changed my schedule to write early in the morning or the afternoon. At night, I still want to write late into the morning, but because of my new schedule, I don’t. I’m left feeling restless, even disappointed that my ideas won’t manifest themselves onto the page.

In a previous post, I had written about how each person has an optimal hour to write/create. It’s that time when they are most productive, when the gears of their mind are spinning rapidly. It can churn out brilliancies, masterpieces even.

My optimal hour has been late at night–somewhere around 10 or 11 o’clock at night. This has been the case for many years–ever since I was in college. But I couldn’t keep it up forever. Times have changed, and so has my routine.

Living in the city can be an exciting and stimulating experience. One feels like they’re inside of a microcosm of bustling activity, where there is so much to see and do and where there is always something going on. One can step out from their rental and be within walking distance to restaurants and stores that are right around the block.

The architecture of the city has a huge impact on life there. Although this is dependent upon which city one lives in (i.e. a small or big city, or an American city or European city, etc.), the buildings impress upon a person the scope and history of their surroundings.

If most of the buildings are new and modern, the sense of space will be towering, geometrical and sleek. But in a cityscape with mostly older buildings, one will feel like they’re looking into the past with every stone or brick that was laid.

Unlike a suburban environment where one has to drive to get anywhere, the city connects people quickly through public transportation and because everything is so close. It makes getting from point A to point B less of a hassle compared to sitting in a car during traffic.

But living in the city has its cons. Space (such as apartments, condos, etc.) is limited, as well as land. If one doesn’t like crowded spaces–the city is probably not the best place for them. It has light pollution, plenty of noise, and depending on the city, a stench that might be unbearable.

City life offers plenty of things to experience and see. Transportation is efficient, and even traveling by foot or on bike gives one a sense of immediacy to the environment. But when deciding to live in a city, one must weigh the facts against the kind of environment they want to live in.

After a long day, one just feels like crashing on the bed or the couch and tuning everything out. It’s not even worth the effort to clean or organize or cook or do any chores. All that matters is to get some rest (hopefully a lot) and shut out all the noise.

So what is a long day?

It’s a day that has drawn out longer than it should. It could’ve been caused by a stressful situation at work, or the anxiety of waiting that causes unbearable tension (i.e. like doing a presentation in front of a 100 people).

It could be defined as a day where a series of things have happened under time pressure. For example, if one were running ten different errands in an hour, or if one had car problems and then had to race to their job to complete a ton of work to meet a deadline.

But during the course of a long day, cheerful or happier moments can be sprinkled in between the stressful ones. Just as traffic might ruin one’s day and make them late to work, the ride home might be a breeze, or they might hear good news about something in their life.

A long day isn’t bad in itself. It just takes a lot out of a person, and a good remedy for it is to get some rest–even some laughter.

When I play a game of chess, it involves so many decisions in terms of positional strategy, tactics and thinking about what the opponent is up to. Sometimes I just freeze, and it feels like any move I make will worsen my position or just lead to my being checkmated. That’s how it feels when indecision strikes me. I can’t move. I’m stuck.

Indecision is one of those things that is debilitating and frustrating. It comes out of nowhere, and it feels paralyzing when it happens. It can happen for a wide range of situations, such as what attire to wear, what to eat at a restaurant, what career or major to pursue, buying a home or deciding on a place to rent, etc.

We run decisions through a network of ready-made systems and values. The frustrating part is when none of the systems or values can resolve the problem at hand. When it’s overwhelming, we have to step away from the dilemma, hoping that the solution will come to us somehow (or out of thin air).

Sometimes this works when we realize we just needed more time to think about it. Other times, we need to talk it through with someone–get another perspective–another set of systems and values to relay it through.

We might even pray about it, waiting for the answer to come when we’re not expecting it. Or we might decide to let our gut-instinct settle the matter. Regardless of what the solution is, indecision is a paralyzing, and we don’t want it weighing us down.

It can affect all areas of our life. Not only practical matters, but even our creative choices.

In my case, I struggle with things such as the title, how long a story should be, what the story arcs should be, how to conclude the story, and what the series of events should be, etc. Sometimes the answers are very obvious and don’t take long to figure out. At other times, they seem almost impossible to resolve.

When this happens, I take breaks and walk outside to resolve indecisiveness. I find that when I’m working on a problem head-on, I’m fixated on one method or a set of ineffective methods to find the solution. It’s kind of like trying to figure something out with brute force, when what you need is wit, or as that saying goes, thinking outside the box.

I find a change of scenery helps to alleviate the stress and worry of the indecision. Fresh air often calms the mood, and helps us to analyze the problem without the pressure that’s associated with it. The answer can seem almost obvious afterward, like when we say “why didn’t I think of that?” or “of course!”

And if that doesn’t help, I find that talking about it with someone gives us insights we didn’t have to begin with. It’s as our problem-solving systems and judgment-values weren’t sufficient to solve the problem to begin with. It needed some growing, some additions, refinements, and fine-tuning to improve and enhance our decision-making ability.

And then everything is well and fine until the next indecision . . . .