Category: Reflections

Setbacks can be big or small, but the most important thing is to be prepared for them. We never know when they’ll come, or how long they’ll set us back for, but if we’re not prepared for them, setbacks can take us a long time to recover from.

Setbacks can be financial, medical, or psychological. A financial setback is an unexpected expense, such as something that needs to be repaired or bought (i.e. an appliance, such as a refrigerator, or a computer, etc.). A medical setback can happen when we’re suddenly sick, and depending on what the illness or condition is, it can set us back for a few days or for months at a time. A psychological setback is when we feel defeated, or when we’ve given up on a goal.

In preparing for these three, they each have their own approach. The financial setback can be prepared for by having an emergency fund. A medical setback can include an emergency fund, but it can also include being proactive with our health (i.e. doctor visits, going to the dentist, etc.) and staying healthy. A psychological setback can include the approach of the former two, as well as having a positive mindset–one in which we seek to improve ourselves and to persevere in achieving our goals. This can include support from friends and family, as well as continually learning and working toward our goal.

But as easy as all of those preparatory approaches sound, they require a lot of discipline and individual tailoring. An emergency fund can look different for all of us depending on our financial situation. Being proactive and staying healthy depends on our physical state and environment. And a positive mindset will vary based on the experiences of our successes and failures.

But regardless of how different these preparatory approaches are for each of us, the important thing is to be prepared. For setbacks will happen to all of us, and it’s up to us in how we face them.

Taking a rest is one of those things where we can’t really assign a time frame to it. We can set an alarm to wake ourselves up, but if we’re still tired when it goes off, we might hit the snooze button or just sleep through the alarm.

One thing I’ve done to overcome tiredness is to wake up at a certain hour like clockwork. I’ll try to wake up before the alarm goes off, make it a habit to beat the alarm, so to speak. If the alarm goes off and I’m still tired, I’ll come up with a reason to get up. For example, I’ll think about how great the coffee will be if I just get up and make it, or I’ll think about something I need to do that day. It’s as if the best solution to overcoming tiredness when we wake up is to outsmart it, or at least, try to sleep it off.

Sometimes it can feel like we’re enduring rather than living life. It’s like we’re trying to make it to the end of the day, the week, the month, rather than having fun or just being in the moment. It’s as if our outlook is to look ahead, wait for time to pass, rather than enjoying the time we have.

Is it because we’re bored, or is it because we’re more focused on making it to the destination rather than embracing the journey? If it’s the latter, then it could be that we’re trying to improve our lot–be somewhere else. Where we are isn’t where we want to be. We’re just going through the motions, trying to make it from day to day until we make it to our destination.

But making it to our destination comes with a caveat. Will we focus on the next destination, or will we start enjoying the moment?

When we can’t concentrate, it feels like we’re being pulled in different directions and we don’t know what to focus on. It’s as if something keeps popping into our minds, distracting us from what we’re doing. Even when we try to block it out, it keeps returning, causing us to trip and stumble over our own thoughts.

The distractions can be caused by many things. Worry. Boredom. Noise. Tiredness. Restless thoughts. Whatever it is, it prevents us from giving our full attention and energy to our goals. For example, if we’re trying to read and we get distracted, we can get hardly grasp what’s going on in the book, let alone move on to the next page.

Trying to concentrate can be a struggle if we’re not in an environment that is quiet. For example, if we’re somewhere that has a lot of noise such as loud music, it can interrupt our concentration to no end. Or if we haven’t eaten or haven’t gotten enough sleep, that can interfere with our concentration since we’re tired, low on energy, or simply hungry.

Sometimes we can’t concentrate because we’re not interested in what we’re concentrating on. Maybe it’s because it’s not important to us, or maybe it’s not something that piques are interest. In order to concentrate, it needs to be something that takes priority over other things. For example, it can be something that we have a vested interest in, whether it is financial, our health, or maybe a personal goal (i.e. a writing goal). If it’s none of these, then we need to be disciplined about it–make it a routine. If we make that routine a habit, then we’ve essentially made it a priority.

When we compare ourselves to others, we feel like we’re lagging behind. It’s like we’ve created a competition in our minds to see who is further ahead, who has more possessions, who has more accolades, and who has everything together. And when we identify the things that we’re lagging behind in, we feel as if we can’t keep up with the race–can’t be in the competition anymore.

But when we do this, we’re judging ourselves by rules and standards that other people have come up with. Like how much savings we should have by a certain age, or how much money we should make or what kind of career we should have, etc. But these are different for everyone, and life throws curve balls at us that will either upset our plans or set us back.

It’s as if we define ourselves by how far ahead or behind we are in relation to everyone else. But is this necessary? Are we compromising our happiness for things that don’t really matter in the long run? Because in the end, our happiness isn’t measured by how far we are in the race that is the world, but in being content and grateful for what we have.

Breakfast can look different for everyone. A bowl of cereal. A sandwich. A bagel. A croissant. A salad and fruits. A muffin. A plate of scrambled eggs and toast.

It all depends on our preference, and which day of the week it is. For example, if is the weekend, we can take our time and prepare a meal or go somewhere to eat. But if it is a workday, then we’re eating something that can be made quickly and cleaned up quickly. Besides, we can’t take our time when we have to be at work.

Sometimes I’ll even skip breakfast if I’m not hungry–wait until lunch. Or I might have a snack instead of breakfast–just enough to get me going for the day.

All of us need something to energize us in the morning, whether it is tea, water, coffee, a bowl of cereal, or a smoothie. Whatever it is, we just need to make sure we make time for it.

Many people look forward to the weekend. It’s that time of the week to get uninterrupted rest, to stay home and do whatever needs to get done, whether that is catching up on sleep, finishing DIY projects, watching movies or shows, reading, or time to focus on our hobbies/goals.

But sometimes, the weekend can be just as busy as the workdays. It can be days filled with activities, events, and obligations that are just as involved and hectic as the workweek. After a long week at work, we’re drained, and we need time to replenish our energy, to rejuvenate our spirits.

If we’re draining ourselves more from an exhausting weekend, we won’t have the vigor to return to work the following week. We won’t feel as motivated about our job. Rather, we’ll feel like we need an extended weekend–more time off.

The weekend is different for everyone. It can be a time of relaxation or a time that’s busy from hour to hour. Whatever it is, it is what we make of it. Besides, we are our own boss during that time.

Thoughts start to fade when we can’t focus or when we’re tired. Or when there’s too much to remember at once. We try to memorize and recall the things we’re supposed to do before those thoughts disappear. But with everything going on around us, it’s inevitable that they will slip away and vanish.

It’s why we can’t help but forget things sometimes, no matter how hard we try not to. We’re just holding on to too many thoughts at once–too many things that are jam-packed in the “priority” bin of our mind. At a certain point, the bin will be full, and everything at the bottom will be forgotten.

It’s only when we do an overhaul that we discover all the things we were supposed to do but didn’t. We have to sort through the madness, organize everything into neat stacks and categories like we’re trying to put them inside of a binder.

Then we find things we forgot to do, things that were so important that we can’t believe that we forgot them. But could we really blame ourselves with the dozens of things we tell ourselves to do each hour–each minute? There’s only so much time in the day, and only so many things that we can remember. Besides, thoughts aren’t like books that we can access anytime we want. Some of them will just fade away.

Overtime at work means working beyond the normal hours of our shift. But we often work overtime on things not related to work. Things like our own projects, home/car repairs–even our hobbies.

Not everything in life goes as planned, especially the timeframe we set for our endeavors. Things can go wrong, or they might take more time than we initially thought. In addition, unexpected problems can occur, such as details that we overlooked or didn’t know about. These details can add hours or days on top of the work that needs to be done.

For most of the stories I’ve written, they took longer than the expected completion date I had set for myself. I found myself investing more time due to the fact that the manuscript needed more chapters, rewrites, and edits. The whole process felt like I’d never finish. But at some point, things started to come together, and gradually, there was less and less to edit and fix.

As aforementioned, overtime isn’t just something that occurs at work, but in many aspects of our lives. Our expectations of having something finished/done by a certain date is far different from the experience and effort that goes into completing a project/task. Sure, we can “complete” something in a rush just to be done with it, but quality doesn’t have an exact time frame.

Reading while the sunlight is dimming is sort of like racing against the clock. We read speedily to finish the chapter before the light goes out, before it’s too dark to read. And as the light gets dimmer and dimmer, our eyes adjust to the dimness, trying to hang on for just one more paragraph–one more page.

But the same could be said about a lot of things when the light is dimming. When the sun starts to fall, we try to finish up things at work, make it back home from a run/jog before it gets completely dark, or finish up doing whatever it is we’re doing outside, whether that is fixing the car or yard work.

It’s as if the sun is the compass of our day, and as the light gets dimmer, it’s the yellow traffic light before turning red. We’re racing to do or finish whatever it is that needs to be done before the night takes over. And even though we have electricity and lamps, it’s not the same as when the sun is out. It’s not the same knowing that within a few short hours, we have to go to sleep.