Month: September 2023

Going through the lessons of life is like going through the seasons. They change us from within, and we evolve and grow from the experiences. We come out a little different after each one, seeing the world through a modified lens.

After I’ve gone through a trial or a tough experience, I tend to look back on it. Although each person will view their experiences differently, my overall outlook is: what can I take away from them?

Each of us go through a variety of challenging experiences, and sometimes they can seem almost random, coincidental or like a chain of events that have accumulated to its logical conclusion. But after they occur, I normally reflect on what happened to see how I could’ve reacted or proceeded differently. Often times, I will find a better way that I could have, because, as the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20.

But more than that, I realize that my knowledge and experience of the world is limited, restricted to a particular time and place in the universe. With each new experience, I’m improving in some way, whether that be in terms of knowledge, character, or in understanding how things are, how things work, revealing how little I knew to begin with.

We all handle new situations differently. For me, I have to process it before I respond or react in a way that I think is the most optimal. For some, they react as if they know what to do instantly, as if it’s intuitive or second nature to them.

It depends on the situation of course. It could be one where we have to give a talk in front of a large group, or where we have to be in charge and be the leader in a new and unfamiliar situation. Or it could be going to a social gathering where we don’t know anyone. Depending on our experience and personality determines whether we will start striking conversations with people at random or feel awkward and want to leave.

But the more new situations we come across in our lifetime, and the more we experiences we have, we will start to build a toolkit of dos and don’ts and hows for various situations, which is our go-to when new situations arises.

There are times when it’s easy to focus, and other times where I feel like my brain is scattered and all over the place. When I’m focused, it’s like my mind is on a mission, and nothing can distract me no matter how noisy everything else is. But when I’m unfocused, it’s as if every little thing grabs my attention, where my focus can easily shift at a moment’s notice.

One thing I do to recalibrate my focus is to create a list of goals. I then prioritize which I will accomplish first, and the steps I will need to take. It’s as if the motor of mind is waiting for some direction, and the only way to put it into gear is to have an action plan in place.

If not, I will be lost, aimlessly drifting from one thing to the next. But sometimes my mind will naturally recalibrate itself when an unexpected situation arises. For example, if something suddenly needs to be repaired or fixed, or if I’m inspired to write a story or novel.

The habits that are continuous happen out of necessity: eating, sleeping, working, waking up, etc. But the ones we’d like to be continuous, such as our pursuits, can often be discontinuous, despite our best efforts to keep them consistent. For me, that can be writing or reading daily, and for someone else, it can be painting, drawing, composing music, etc.

That discontinuity can happen for a number of reasons: losing interest, a change in schedule, pursuing/learning a new skill, etc. It can also be the result of burn out, exhaustion, or simply needing rest. But without that discontinuity, a pursuit can end up being dull and humdrum rather than one that stems from excitement or curiosity.

It’s why we can look forward to the weekend after a long week of work, or want to take a vacation after months of work, or learn/try something new. Continuity is good for honing talents and skills, but without discontinuity, our pursuit can end up being unexciting and mechanical in a way in which it’s no longer creative or exciting. It’s like taking a break from a novel/story after writing it for weeks or months. Once a writer returns to it, they see it again anew.