Absentminded

There were times at school when I’d stare at the board absentmindedly, not cognizant of what was going on, but rather, giving the appearance that I was paying attention. It’s something that has occurred less as I’ve grown older, but it does happen from time to time.

In hindsight, I could attribute it to boredom, or that I was more interested in other subjects like art and P.E. There is a window of time when I can really focus and pay attention, but after that window closes, it becomes a struggle to stay alert. It’s not that I don’t want to pay attention, but everything I’m hearing and seeing isn’t registering in my brain like it used to. In other words, nothing is sinking in, and I’m just a body–sitting there and waiting for the class to be over.

Nowadays, things are different. I’m more intentional with my time, and I use my time purposefully (i.e. to work on projects, to finish chores, to run errands, etc.). I might become absentminded if I’m waiting in a long line at a store, or if I’m extremely tired, but given how fast pace everything is, I’m usually thinking about the next errand I have to do–or the next project I’m working on.

Overall, I think the difference between myself now and when I was young is that in my youth, I felt like I had all the time in the world–like there was an infinite supply of it–whereas now, I know it’s dwindling with each day that passes, and I have to make the best of each day before time runs out.